Bullying

I was always shy, goofy and awkward. Afraid to stand up for myself. (I know hard to believe huh!) I had friends but I would never say I was "popular". Especially in elementary and middle school. High school is a different story. I think in high school I finally found my voice (literally!) and started figuring out who I was a person. I stopped putting up with people who were just down right mean and I knew I didn't have to be friends with them anymore.

But lets go back to those middle school years. They were HELL for me and I mean per hell. I was a big dork. I had braces and wore glasses. I mean look at me!!! Look at that hair! And I thought it looked so good too!!! I remember one day my mom had left early and my dad was getting us ready for school. So I sprayed my bangs straight up and wore really tight clothing. I never did that again. I was made fun of all day. And here I was only trying to fit in.

Kids were brutal in middle school. They would make fun of me for what I wore, how I talked and basically who I was as a person. I can honestly say that I dont think I would have made it if not for my sister. I know I was suppose to be the big sister who took care of her little sis but it was the other way around for us. Kim was always the "cool" one. She hung out with the most popular kids of the school and because she is so kind even the kids who weren't popular loved her! But if someone was mean to me or said anything to me I only had to mention it once to her and it would all stop. I don't know if she threatened to kill them or what but I can tell you that whatever she did say they would no longer say a thing to me. So for that I am eternally greatful. Not everyone has a Kimmy. The torture these people put me through goes way beyond what I wrote. I still feel the scars in me. I'm still hurt and angry with them. I feel sorry for thier kids. Will they end up being bullies too? I'm still effected by things that were said to me to this day. I won't wear something again if anyone makes a rude comment about it. I wish I didnt let people still effect me but I still think that shy little girl is in thier somewhere. I hope one day I can look in the mirror and say well they can chose to say what they want because I love myself and Im going to be myself like it or not!


Being young is hard enough. I didnt need any help feeling more insecure about myself. I don't thank them for anything. I could say that they helped shape me into the person I am today but those feelings and the sadness I felt when I was young were terrible. I shaped who I am...I chose to say no more and I chose to have a voice. I chose to say this is me... Im sorry you dont like it now go away please.

Sadly many kids don't have a chance or cant say "no more" to bullies Their bullies won't stop. I see this everyday where I work. I think this is one of the many reasons I chose to work at a middle school. Face those demons head on. And also to be a guiding support for those who didn't have a Kimmy in their lives. I hope I can be an inspiration to them. I hope I can encourage them as well as my own children to speak up for themselves, to be an individual and to be ok with what God has blessed them with. I hope my two will never have to go through what I did as a kid. I hope they never have to endure the pain of hating who you are and wishing you were someone else. I want to protect them and keep them safe. The best I know how to do this is to share my stories with them. To share how it felt to be bullied.

Who would have thought that this dorky insecre girl could have turned out so great...NOT ME :)

Have you heard about this movie? I’m planning on seeing this documentary, BULLY. I have a feeling it will be a film that I think should be shared in all schools.


Thanks to The Bullying Project for inspiring my blog today! (http://www.thebullyproject.com/)